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What Should’ve Been – An HIE Dad’s Poem

October 14th, 2015  | Care  |  By NICK BURTON

What should’ve been
A dream unfulfilled, but forever imagined
So unextrordinary a fantasy, unrealized
Should’ve been
What never was
Bonding time and cord cutting
A wheelchair ride and balloons
A clever announcement with rustic font
Never was

What was
Barely saved, Mama shaking Just met, say goodbye for ambulance trip
Signing forms and breaking down
Papa yells at strangers to get moving
Was

What was
Bedside longing, listening to rounds
Critical injuries to everything major
Questions answered, not comprehended
Despair and grief and just not knowing
Was

What is
Strong baby fights to heal
One by one organs get better
Told the brain may never
Learn not to care about a prognosis
‘Cause he’s looking at us right now

What could be
Grey comes home to heal his parents
The gift, the dream finally
Toward days full of testing potential
And discovering what’s now supposed to be
Could be

What should’ve been never will
But always seems better than what is
A fantasy cannot live and grow,
A dream will not sleep in your arms
Living only in the giggles of others’ kids

What is now is what should be
The dream is new and more profound
More meaningful and full of hope
What could be doesn’t matter
‘Cause he’s looking at us right now

 

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